


Vulcan's Secrets

by Sarek and Amanda Archive Maintainer (Selek)



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: F/M, Humor, Ster Julie, Tongue-in-cheek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 14:05:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selek/pseuds/Sarek%20and%20Amanda%20Archive%20Maintainer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the reason why Vulcan's Secrets lingeries cannot be sold to humans!</p><p>Written by Ster Julie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vulcan's Secrets

\--ooOoo--  
  
Sarek checked the protocol book "The Complete Guide to Human/Non-Terran Relationships."  
  
"Human females put great stock in anniversaries of occurrences that hold special meaning, such as a birthday, the date of a couple's marriage or other days that hold emotional significance.  It is appropriate for a spouse to present her with a item to be used during intimacy, such as revealing undergarments or sleepwear."  (page 23, item 12)  
  
Sarek closed the book and entered the local lingerie shop "Vulcan's Secrets."  He was surprised to see that no items were on display for shoppers inside the small, bare store.  Instead, there was a desk with a display monitor.   
  
Sarek sat in front of the monitor and perused the different categories.  He decided on a sleeping garment and entered Amanda's size.  To his left, a drawer opened and several swatches of fabrics were displayed within.  He felt each one and decided on a sheer fabric that seemed to glow when bunched or turned toward the light.  It wasn't the shimmering colors of the fabric that drew him to it,  
but rather the ethereal air about it, the way it felt nearly weightless and oh-so-soft in his hand.  It was as if he was holding a handful of charged thundercloud.  Yes, this would be esthetically pleasing for both of them.  
  
Sarek entered his fabric selection and payment information.  After several soft beeps, a drawer opened to his right.  Inside, nestled in a small box lined in a deep blue fabric, was what looked to be an egg-shaped gem, much like a large Spican flame gem or Terran fire opal.  Next to the box was his receipt as well as the instructions for safely removing the garment from the ovoid packaging.  He slipped the box and all into the folds of his robe and left the establishment.  
  
Sarek raised an eyebrow at the whole experience.  It was a discreet shop, which was ideal for such intimate purchases, but it was quite impersonal.  He could have done the whole transaction from home.  


\--------  
  
Several times during endmeal Sarek caught Amanda looking at him furtively.  She was undoubtedly anxious to learn if Sarek remembered the significance of this date, their first wedding anniversary.  Sarek had noticed, but did not comment, that his young wife had prepared all the same dishes she had the first time she had cooked for him.  Sarek also noticed, but did not comment, that this meal showed just how far Amanda had improved in the culinary arts.  The kreyla were light and crisp, the root casserole was not a gooey, glutinous mess, the roasted vegetables still had some bite, and the soup was sufficiently spicy to satisfy both their tastes without sending one or both of them to the emergency room.  
  
Sarek sensed dismay across their bond.  Not wanted to pain his young bride in any way, he decided to stop the ruse immediately.  Without a word, he stood and walked to her side, sank to his knees beside his beloved aduna, and placed the box on the table.  
  
"I believe the correct phrase is, 'Happy anniversary, my wife,'" he purred.  
  
Amanda's bright eyes misted over with sudden tears.  "Oh, Sarek!" she breathed.  "I thought you forgot!"  
  
Sarek brushed her cheeks with paired fingers.  "Vulcans never forget," he teased.  
  
Amanda's delighted laugh sparkled throughout the dining room and she reached for the small box.  Opening it, she looked inside and puzzled over the contents.  
  
"Is this a jewel?" she asked as she stroked its surface.  "Oh!" she gasped as it yielded to pressure and burst open.  
  
The garment oozed out of the packaging and Amanda gingerly picked it up.  Realizing that it was some article of clothing, she shook it out and examined the sheer--  
  
"Catsuit?" she stated in amazement.   
  
"Go and try it on as I clear the remnants of our meal, Aduna," Sarek suggested.  "I will be up shortly."  
  
Amanda smirked.  Intended or not, she frequently caught Sarek in double entendres, and she enjoyed each and every one of them.   
  
\----------------  
  
Sarek made quick work of the dishes and soon entered their sleeping chamber.  There, displayed only for her adun to see, was Amanda, looking as if she wore nothing more than a smile and an electric charge.  The low light of the many candles she had lit sent sparks of light racing across her curves.  If the fabric had felt like a thundercloud to Sarek earlier, it now seemed to be discharging bolts of lighting around her body.  He yearned to touch his wife's sensuous curves through the fabric, so he made quick work of his evening ablutions and soon joined his wife on the bed.  
  
Sarek found the fabric to be as exciting as it looked.  He moved amorously down, around, and over his wife's body, and soon they were both moaning in pleasure.   
  
Suddenly, Amanda's vocalizations took on a more frenzied sound, which spurred Sarek to greater heights.  
  
"Sarek!" she nearly shrieked.  "I'm on fire!"  
  
"I burn for thee as well, Beloved," he murmured, moving more quickly.  
  
Amanda began to push, them pummel Sarek into releasing her.  "No!" she screamed.  "I'm on fire!  This thing is dissolving!"  
  
Sarek looked down.  The beautiful, expensive catsuit was interacting with Amanda's perspiration.  The garment was turning into a sparkling brown goo all over her body, showing angry red patches of skin underneath.  
  
Sarek scooped up his wife and stood her under the shower.  The rest of the garment melted away and ran into the drain below as Sarek washed his wife clean.  Soon enough Amanda's skin returned to its natural hue, and her mood switched back to its earlier ardor.  She pulled Sarek into the shower with her to return the favor, but the temperature, set for cool for human skin, felt frigid to her very Vulcan husband.  Sarek gasped as the icy water hit him.  Amanda watched in dismay as her husband deflated.  
  
"So much for our anniversary," she muttered.  
  
\--------------------  
  
The next day, Sarek lodged a formal complaint with the owners of the lingerie chain. That is why, to this day, garments from Vulcan's Secrets made from the d'slofuçien fabric must carry the following warning:  
  
            _Not intended for use by natives of Terra, nor any other species of high          water content._  
  
END


End file.
